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April 2025 - When Horns Lock: Tools for Managing Conflict with Grace

Any time passionate and committed people come together with a mutual goal, there is potential for conflict. The key is in approaching conflict as an opportunity versus a problem. Tools and strategies can help physicians lead through conflict and ensure that resolution is achieved without casualties. 

Session Summary

Session Host: Dr. Wen Nie

Presenters & Panelists:

  • Dr. Andie Bains
  • Dr. Gemma Vomiero

Session Objectives: At the end of this webinar, you will be able to:

  • Describe the 3 phases of self-management in relation to conflict
  • Incorporate tools and strategies, for before, during and after conflict
  • Explain how our brains are wired to react to conflict and how we can actively change our response

Recommended Resources: 

Session Highlights & Themes:

The Brain & Conflict
  • The limbic system (including the amygdala) is the emotional and threat-detection center
  • The prefrontal cortex helps regulate emotional responses and enables thoughtful reactions
  • The goal is to strengthen the neural pathway between these areas to better manage conflict
Conflict Styles - (Thomas-Kilmann Model)

Avoiding (Turtle): Calm but may neglect issues
Accommodating (Teddy Bear): Maintains harmony but may lead to resentment
Competing (Shark): Direct but risks escalating tension
Collaborating (Owl): Builds trust but takes time
Compromising (Fox): Balanced but may lead to suboptimal results

Understand your default style and adapt as needed based on goals, urgency, and relationships. 

Preparing for Conflict, Managing in the Moment & Reflecting & Learning 

Preparing for Conflict
Conflict is inevitable—preparation is key. “Between stimulus and response, there is a space...” —in that space lies our power to choose. We can build our emotional regulation skills through: 

  • Mindfulness and meditation
  • Sensory check-ins
  • Journaling with curiosity
  • Incorporating intentional mindful moments during daily tasks (e.g., breathwork in between appointments, or while washing hands) 

Managing in the Moment 
Identify your physical cues of emotional activation (e.g., tight chest, sweaty palms). Remember the S.T.O.P. tool : 
               Stop 
               Take a breath 
               Observe (sensations, thoughts, feelings) 
               Proceed mindfully 
 
Try box breathing (inhale, hold, exhale, hold—each for a count of 4) to calm the nervous system. 
 
Reflecting & Learning  
Use reflection to identify what worked in your approach and what didn’t. Ask yourself what physical/emotional cues emerged?

We can strengthen our prefrontal pathways through:

  • Narrative reframing (write from multiple perspectives)
  • Visualization of a better outcome
  • “If-then” planning for next time 

It’s important to incorporate self-compassion in our reflections. Especially in healthcare, with the cultural pressure to be perfect—review your approach with kindness and reflect without harsh self-judgment. 
It’s best to work through these reflections soon after the conflict for maximum impact.

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